When I stepped into Tarleton campus as a freshman I knew I came to accomplish one thing; I came to be a nurse. I remember the first week like it was yesterday, I picked up the phone and called my mom in the cafeteria telling her I was done. I was homesick, running around like crazy trying to get my books and I just felt overwhelmed. I can't place the exact words she said but after words of encouragement I think she said: "Well if you want to come home, if you want to quit that's ok". Of course I said no it's just hard.
Hard explains my whole pursuit to become a nurse actually, and it all started with anatomy. It was one of the first pre-requests for nursing I took. The class was hard for lack of a better word and I came out with a C. Now sure the saying 'D gets degrees' work for most but when it comes to nursing C is the new D, a B is the new C, you get it right?
So when I made a C in anatomy, microbiology and statistics(hardest class ever.. I definitely earned that C) I had to make a change, no way would nursing throw a look my way with those grades; basically only one C if any was allowed. I pulled up my big girl pants and did what I had to do. I retook anatomy and micro in one summer back to back. I made an A in micro and an B in anatomy, I guess it just goes to show the teacher really does matter!
So by the skin of my hard work I made it into pre-nursing class. Yes, you heard me right, all this has happened before I stepped foot in taking any actual nursing classes. I know determination skills coming in clutch right? That next semester I was hitting it hard and struggling even harder. I would feel like I was starting to understand then go to class and leave more confused. Learning about the body is beautiful but making all the connections in my head was just not happening.
During this same season I was growing spiritually. I had found my group, my posy, my family. The student organization Chi Alpha became my people, my friends and my family. I was going to small group, getting mentored by a fellow nurse and making steps to be a small group leader. In hindsight I look back and I know I was dedicated as I could be. I have always been a 'social butterfly' as my 5th grade teacher told my mom early on: " She is such a great student but I can't get her to stop talking"😂😂😂. So naturally I thought I can have a thriving social life and make all the grades I can do it all. Now don't get me wrong I did do some sacrifices and wasn't being nearly as social as I was used to, but I couldn't fathom shutting it down completely, it wasn't an option for me.
The semester came to an end and I failed two classes. When I say failed I mean failed I made my first D in my whole life, it was my rock bottom. I heard God say this is where I am supposed to be. Why is this happening? Am I hearing God right? Did I not try hard enough? These are the questions that swarmed around my head on repeat.