I have been single for at least five years now, but when I truly think about what single means to me, maybe I have only been single for a year?
I was talking with a girlfriend a couple of months ago and she pointed out that I had been recently and semi for the years I have known her been tempted to settle (or have even tried to settle). You know what I'm talking about! Right? That once of year 'Hey girl.' text from your ex.... that you try to avoid but sometimes get trapped. Or a guy that you started developing feelings for and then years later they decide to maybe try talking to you again!
Like why? As I write this, I'm even like what the heck! Why do I as a girl who is nice and tries to be forgiving get the short end of the stick? Or why am I expected to open up/ give guys a second chance when in the past they did me dirty! I am tired of settling, tired of being understanding, and ready to truly be single.
When I think about the word single and what that looks like for me... It looks like spending time with me and no one else. It looks like friend-zoning every guy that comes into my life without a thought. It looks like pampering myself with simple things in life... and maybe some big things too!
This year or well more specific sometime in November of 2019 till November 2020 I decided to go full out single for a year! I am going to treat myself to something every month that is just for me and no one else. I'm going to do stuff I would think about doing but never actually do (because I am a woman by nature)! I am going to find myself more and step out of my comfort zone!
So far, I have taken a relaxing bath (which I feel like I have done in years) with Epsom salt and essential oils for 'balance'. I also went to the movies alone... Which is something I have never done in my life! It was nice to just have time with myself, get whatever food I wanted, and see a movie(Little Women... which was #womenpower) I wanted to see but probably nobody else I know would have wanted to see. The most recent thing I did was step way out of my comfort-zone by doing a photo-shoot just for me, today. It's probably going to be the biggest gift I give myself this year, but it's the month of February! The month of love! Go big or go home right?
I painted my nails twice (and still wasn't happy), got a much-needed haircut and payed a but ton of money (which really isn't a lot... but a lot for a single girl). I got up early had a dear friend come do my make-up and as normal fashion arrived a couple of minutes late. Once I got there I had so much fun any nerves I had anyway, and the loving environment helped me feel at home!
So, this year I am choosing myself all the time. Doing things, I love and loving on myself! I will not settle but have fun while in the waiting!
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